Morning

Laying there on the couch after the first few seconds of waking up, her brain hasn't caught up yet to reality and tricks her thinking all is well. It than hits her, he is gone and she is alone to face another day without him. No one will ever know the depth of panic she feels, the constant sour stomach making her feel like she is going to be sick. 

She forces herself to get up, feel the panic, feel the nausea, feel the pain so deep within her heart until she goes numb. She tells herself he is at work it's easier. She spends the day lying to herself, she has to she can't bear the pain anymore. 

Every thought, every image, every event involves him, she can't comprehend he isn't coming back so she keeps telling herself he is working. She says whatever she needs to herself to get through the next minute without him. She feels like she is on an endless rollercoaster ride, emotions changing from one second to the next never knowing how she is going to feel. 

She tries so hard not to think about how there will be no new memories together, no new pictures taken. She feels the void so deeply, remembering hurts yet she can't stop, her mind never stops.

She feels the emptiness a gaping hole within her heart, she has lost half of her...There is no more We, it is now only Her. She is alone without him, she is crushed inside and out. 

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