The Sadness

 

She feels selfish being in so much pain, she is after all alive. She still is breathing, though at times if feels like she isn't.

He is the one gone, his breath stopped when he was pulled away from life, called home suddenly without warning. Is he afraid? Is he ok? Is he missing her as much as she misses him? Is he mourning the loss of her as she is of him?

She wonders around daily trying to distract her mind but nothing distracts her from the loss of him. There isn't a switch flipped off when someone you love so deeply is gone. You just can't say to yourself "ok, he is gone, our love is gone, move on". Love doesn't die with death at least she hopes it doesn't.

She feels the sadness in every facet of her life. Everything she does is a reminder of his absence. Remembering their life together hurts to much, it's to raw. She quickly finds out however all she does is remember. Their life, the memories play on repeatedly in her mind. Feeling the sadness over and over deep within her heart.

Thoughts disrupt her while she is remembering. She is consumed with needing answers, she needs to talk to him to see if he is ok. He must be sad not being with her. He always told her he just wanted her by his side, his heart was full when she was by his side.

Surely he would explain why he was called home, someone had to explain it to him so he could explain it to her. He knows all to well she needed to know the answer. She is a person who needed to fix things, not being able to fix this or know the reason was driving her the edge of insanity.

He would want to comfort her, put her mind at ease but nothing is going to comfort her as long as he is gone, he was her comfort.