Dinner

 

She realized she hadn't eaten all day she has been trying to decide what to eat something so simple is now a thousand times harder since he has been gone. She has been ordering prepacked food to make it easier but she forget to place her order so she didn't have anything to eat. 

She sat there for two hours trying to figure out what to eat, tears running down her face because he wasn't here to decide with her. She doesn't want to do anything on her own. Every facet of their life together is gone she isn't even able to figure out what to eat, it is crushing her. 

If you knew them you know they loved three things, first and foremost they loved each other deeply, secondly they loved training she liked this a bit more and lastly eating, he liked this a bit more, to him it was an event. 

They could easily spend hours trying to figure out what to eat for dinner. She usually started asking him early in the morning so he would think on it during his day. More often than not his reply was "I have no idea". Dinner time would roll around and they would still be deciding. She didn't care as much about food as he did. She ate the same thing pretty much all the time, to her food was fuel nothing to get excited about. He on the other hand had to peruse the menu of any place suggested, he preferred to see the place first if she suggested somewhere he hadn't been before. Even a universal place like a diner wasn't an easy suggestion, he was picky but she loved that about him.

Eating at home was the same, always an event unless she decided what they were eating. He was an amazing cook, anything he made was delicious. He was very particular about where they went food shopping often going to three or four grocery markets for the all the different ingredients. She was used to it, they had fun running around going store to store most time buying the fixings took more time than preparing and cooking the dinner. 

After the day she can no longer go into a grocery store. The memories, the fun they had are too painful for her. Every where she looks is a constant reminder of things she would get that he enjoyed. She attempted to go in the grocery a few days after not realizing how hard it was going to be. 

She saw the blueberry muffins he absolutely loved and broke down, she couldn't breathe she couldn't control the tears she knew she had to leave yet she was frozen staring at the blueberry muffins she would never have the pleasure of buying for him to enjoy. 

The simplest of things have become so incredibly hard for her to do. No one truly realizes how her life has been changed, the often automatic daily errands and chores have become impossible for her to do since he has been gone, nothing is normal. She sits there trying to figure out what to eat alone...

S.M Schultes