Alone

 

All she wants to do is collapse into his arms, her head against his chest listening to him whisper in her ear everything will be okay. Nothing feels okay to her anymore, everything is turnt upside down. Most of all she misses being loved, she misses being held. 

She struggles to find the strength to face the day ahead of her without him by her side. Every thing hurts, she is pushing herself to keep running, to keep her mind busy, to keep from feeling the pain of his absence but it's catching up to her. She feels as if she is losing it multiple times a day yet she will not let herself break, she will keep moving forward finding her path in this new life of hers. 

The loss of her mom is to much on top of everything. They haven't had a relationship in many many years yet she silently wished one day they would. She remembers the times when she was younger  shared together. Every Friday was their time to have lunch, do a little shopping just the two of them. She always looked forward to Fridays with her mom. 

She now has to face leaving their home for the first time since he is gone. Traveling alone to Florida in order to handle going through everything associated with her Mom's passing. No one to lean on but herself, no one to tell her it will be okay. He isn't here to wrap her in his arms, to support her. She has never felt more fear, vulnerablity and the ever present sadness in her life than she has in the last six months.